Your J. Crew Girlfriend

She always remembers to get you
a latte from Cafe Grumpy on her way
back from her monthly hours at the Co-Op.

Snarky and cute, she covers up her neurosis
with confidence most of the time.

she might be a little bit mean sometimes,
but with a heart of gold... and cashmere.
Penny grumbled as she fussed in the hall mirror for the hundredth time that hour, adjusting her collar and frantically smoothing out sections of hair. I walked over with a cup of tea to calm her down; “That’s not going to help unless it’s full of whiskey!”
“I’m sorry, I’m just so nervous. I want your parents to like me and are you sure this isn’t underdressed?” I placed a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes, “This is our place so we set the dress code. You look perfect and Christmasy and they’re going to love you. Because they know that I do.”

Penny grumbled as she fussed in the hall mirror for the hundredth time that hour, adjusting her collar and frantically smoothing out sections of hair. I walked over with a cup of tea to calm her down; “That’s not going to help unless it’s full of whiskey!”
“I’m sorry, I’m just so nervous. I want your parents to like me and are you sure this isn’t underdressed?” I placed a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes, “This is our place so we set the dress code. You look perfect and Christmasy and they’re going to love you. Because they know that I do.”

Bridget and I sat on the bench outside Doughnut Plant with our morning’s spoils. I glanced over to her and caught her ravenously licking the peanut butter from her fingers and the corners of her mouth, and before I could open my mouth to comment she leaned in and took a bite from mine; squirting a drop of meyer lemon cream onto my pants. She leaned back and smiled sheepishly, and I couldn’t help but think that she’s the one.

Bridget and I sat on the bench outside Doughnut Plant with our morning’s spoils. I glanced over to her and caught her ravenously licking the peanut butter from her fingers and the corners of her mouth, and before I could open my mouth to comment she leaned in and took a bite from mine; squirting a drop of meyer lemon cream onto my pants. She leaned back and smiled sheepishly, and I couldn’t help but think that she’s the one.

Ginny began to walk in a circle, staring intently for a clean spot on the floor to rest. However, she was drunk and failed to realize there were no clean spots at Boardy Barn. Finally she gave up and plopped down; counting her stickers up and down her arms she looked to me, “Can we do this every weekend forever because I love you?”

Ginny began to walk in a circle, staring intently for a clean spot on the floor to rest. However, she was drunk and failed to realize there were no clean spots at Boardy Barn. Finally she gave up and plopped down; counting her stickers up and down her arms she looked to me, “Can we do this every weekend forever because I love you?”

Lux walked past the back of the couch and leaned over next to my face, “Hey babe, do you still want to go to that Picasso exhibit at the Guggenheim this weekend? I was thinking we should go earlier in the day because theres usually that waffle truck you like outside then…”. She then kissed me on the top of my head and tussled my hair.

Lux walked past the back of the couch and leaned over next to my face, “Hey babe, do you still want to go to that Picasso exhibit at the Guggenheim this weekend? I was thinking we should go earlier in the day because theres usually that waffle truck you like outside then…”. She then kissed me on the top of my head and tussled my hair.

"Can you believe these bridesmaids dresses? I look like one of those marshmallow peeps!" Gemma frowned as she talked to me through the reflection in the floor length mirror in our living room. I walked over to comfort her, put my hand on her shoulder and smiled. She turned and met my eyes with hers; "Promise me if I’m feeling extra ugly we can find a bathroom or coat closet or something to fool around in so I don’t kill myself?"

"Can you believe these bridesmaids dresses? I look like one of those marshmallow peeps!" Gemma frowned as she talked to me through the reflection in the floor length mirror in our living room. I walked over to comfort her, put my hand on her shoulder and smiled. She turned and met my eyes with hers; "Promise me if I’m feeling extra ugly we can find a bathroom or coat closet or something to fool around in so I don’t kill myself?"

Marissa saw me from across the loft, checking my twitter and politely refusing what felt like the hundredth piece of unidentifiable tapas with a name I could neither pronounce or understand. She graciously excused herself and came over to give me a kiss, “Babe, I’m sorry you hate these gallery things. But it means a lot to me that you came. We can leave soon, and if you want we can go to Baohaus since I know you haven’t eaten any of this weird food.”

Marissa saw me from across the loft, checking my twitter and politely refusing what felt like the hundredth piece of unidentifiable tapas with a name I could neither pronounce or understand. She graciously excused herself and came over to give me a kiss, “Babe, I’m sorry you hate these gallery things. But it means a lot to me that you came. We can leave soon, and if you want we can go to Baohaus since I know you haven’t eaten any of this weird food.”

"Honey!" Jessica called from the bedroom, her voice ringing down the hall. "Have you seen my big totebag?? You know, the one that we use for groceries?? I want to go to the Dekalb Market today!"
She stumbled out of the room to find my standing there holding her bag that I found under the couch. Without saying anything she crumpled her arms against her hips and blew her bangs from her eyes realizing she had known it was there all along.

"Honey!" Jessica called from the bedroom, her voice ringing down the hall. "Have you seen my big totebag?? You know, the one that we use for groceries?? I want to go to the Dekalb Market today!"
She stumbled out of the room to find my standing there holding her bag that I found under the couch. Without saying anything she crumpled her arms against her hips and blew her bangs from her eyes realizing she had known it was there all along.

Patrice leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before going back to press her face nearly against the window of the Jitney so she could marvel at the pine barrens.
“I’m so glad we left early today…  Definitely happy we didn’t rent a car… I can’t believe your boss is letting us use his house in Sag Harbor…” she murmured to me without turning her head.

Patrice leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before going back to press her face nearly against the window of the Jitney so she could marvel at the pine barrens.
“I’m so glad we left early today… Definitely happy we didn’t rent a car… I can’t believe your boss is letting us use his house in Sag Harbor…” she murmured to me without turning her head.

Calliste swatted my hand as I reached across the coffee table, she knew I was going for the Sunday crossword. “Listen here, how many more buttons do I have to undo before you stop thinking about Will Shortz?”

Calliste swatted my hand as I reached across the coffee table, she knew I was going for the Sunday crossword. “Listen here, how many more buttons do I have to undo before you stop thinking about Will Shortz?”

Adrianne and I walked into the Housing Works bookstore and a wry smile crept across her face. I turned to her and asked her what was going on, without responding she pointed to the sign on the table.  ‘Holiday Sale: 10% off everything.’  "Adrianne, I love you."

Adrianne and I walked into the Housing Works bookstore and a wry smile crept across her face. I turned to her and asked her what was going on, without responding she pointed to the sign on the table. ‘Holiday Sale: 10% off everything.’

"Adrianne, I love you."

Jamie put down The New Yorker and looked across the table at me, “Hey, want to go watch the tourists check out the tree? We can get hot chocolate at Jacques Torres, I know its your favorite.”

Jamie put down The New Yorker and looked across the table at me, “Hey, want to go watch the tourists check out the tree? We can get hot chocolate at Jacques Torres, I know its your favorite.”